I don’t recognize this…. must be NEW

Fox New Modern Image

While watching Fox News’ Sunday Housecall this morning, and a report on allergies, I stumbled upon a brief clip of a woman reaching for a tissue. There were a few shots–Man sneezing in the street, woman dabbing her teary eyes and drippy nose…. and THIS.  I had to do some research, but I believe this is the wave of the future in something called an “IBM selectric typewriter”, and kudos to Fox News for being so far ahead of the crowd with their amazing file footage.  🙂

YOU ARE MY Fool du Jour, Fox… Did you think I wasn’t paying attention?

My brush with Jury Duty

jury duty

Of course I can not divulge the particulars of the case I was NOT selected to sit on the jury of.  Suffice it to say, harassment, larceny, yadda-yadda. However I can summarize the gist of my day and what I believe was my demise in getting a coveted seat in that jury box.

YES, I wanted to do my civic duty, to fairly and without prejudice, with only the evidence presented to me, decide someone’s fate.  (Exciting stuff.)   I was one of 80 plus people in the LARGE and dull as possible room who waited and filled out questionnaires—as well as watched some Jury Duty for Dummies video—before we were finally moved along to the court room.  *A note about that big BORING room. It turns out one can use their WiFi, which I put to fabulous use in purchasing new shoes.

Again, I digress.  This is supposed to be about my almost-jury duty experience.  As we all cram into this tiny courtroom I see the regulars that we all know from TV—judge, clerk, bailiff, Assistant District Attorney at one table and 2 defense attorneys and the defendant at the other.  Ok… so perhaps I am forming tiny opinions already, BUT I actually watched and paid attention to that “Dummies” video, and know what is expected of me.  I am ready and willing for them to do their magic and change my mind, should I be wrong—doubtful.  😉

Like a scene from Wednesday night at the church bingo hall, they use that spinny thing and start calling names. They will fill up the 15 chairs set in the jury box. For this case they need only 6 jurors and 1 alternate.  With 3 seats left to fill, in a PACKED room, I hear my name.  YAY.  Now the hard part.  Answering the innocuous and not so innocuous questions.  And, boy oh boy, some of these people questioned before me totally FIBBED!

The ADA,  I have to say, wowed me from the get go.  She came up to her podium, explained that we have all heard the judges instructions – which we sat patiently through – and she would not bother wasting what little time she had with that. But, she went on to say, “This is not Law and Order, I am not an actress, and cases are rarely settled in 43 minutes.”  I was already impressed—not that I was choosing sides.  Her questions were mostly general and slightly vague.  But still, I could tell the couple of times I  was asked to give answers, I made a good impression.

THEN, one of the defense attorneys approached the podium with his stack of our questionnaires in order of our seating arrangement  – so he knew who he was speaking to, and unlike the hard to read ADA, asked some pretty telling questions.

“You see the defendant sitting there, do you believe you can be fair and impartial, neither sympathizing or demonizing him?”   SURE.

“One or more of the witnesses may be testifying with the help of an interpreter.  Will that affect your judgement?”  NOPE

“Would it change how you feel, or make a difference in your decision, if after the People plead their case and rested, that I stood up and said the ‘Defense Rests?'”   YEAH, I would like to hear both sides.  (Evidently, the wrong answer.)

He went on for a while with more questions about the prospective jurors and our experiences and beliefs.   Questions of previous brushes with the law,  lawsuits, personal harassment, being robbed, whether just because something is stolen of little value, is it still stealing?  (I believe I heard that question in the 5th grade), and so on and so forth.

Then the proverbial Sh!t hit the fan for me.  He asked, “If someone is WORKING in this country but not a legal citizen, do they deserve the same rights as a legal citizen?” Trust me, I was not the first to speak!  My mind was screaming, but if you know me, you already know how I feel about this subject.  An elderly woman at the end rather quickly and loudly said, “Well they are already breaking the law being here so NO, send them home”.

I swear I only whispered to the woman sitting to  my right.  “It’s a civil liberties thing.” SERIOUSLY, that’s all I said, quietly at that!   “Ms. Jaffie, did you say something?”  “Yes, just pointing out that what you are alluding to is simple civil liberties.” I NEVER SAID I AGREED WITH THE PREMISE. Apparently I didn’t have to.

I was branded, right then and there.  “LIBERAL.”  And, this might be a good time to mention that, there I was wearing my gun necklace and all.

Well… as all the pertinent parties went to the back to deliberate over who the lucky jurors would be, I had plenty of time take a good long look at the  defendant who had chosen his best grey, ratty t-shirt for his day in court.  (And they tell US to dress appropriate for a courtroom.)

NO, I am not passing judgement, that would be wrong had I been chosen, but I wasn’t… So, I am just saying… well… “Guilty.” But what difference does it make? Not unsurprisingly,  my civil liberties answer just didn’t play all that well with the judicial system’s idea of what makes a good juror. And in the end  I didn’t get the chance to have my mind blown by the defense’s evidence or the people’s case.

I wonder if I can appeal this? 😉

As for the “TIMING” of all this… Today my niece was duly admitted and qualified to practice law in the southern district of New York!  And more than anything, I want Sam to know how proud I am….and good luck, because from where I was sitting, the last people they want on  jury are the smart ones and the majority of jurors may very well fit the “fools” category.  😉

Contact: Red@dealingwithfools.com

Make that “FOOLS”

bey jzbey cuba

In a communist country, where the immeasurable majority is oppressed, Beyonce and Jay Z spent their 5th anniversary living the high life, in high-profile and posing for propaganda photos in lovely Havana.  SHAME on them.  I am glad Senator Marco Rubio, among others is calling them out on choosing a communist, oppressed country, to CELEBRATE their anniversary.  —  They didn’t even pretend to make this a humanitarian trip.  Sickening.

Hey, I got my permit… TO DRINK AND DRIVE

drinking and driving

Some ideas are brilliant—really, they are!  And some are, well, less than brilliant.  Drinking and driving.  Less than brilliant, in my opinion.  However, in a rural area of southwest Ireland, the County Kerry Council has passed a motion that would allow drivers to drive legally under the influence of alcohol. In his proposal outline, PUB OWNER–Danny Healy-Rae wrote: ‘To ask the Minister for Justice to introduce legislation to allow Gardaí to issue permits to people living in rural isolated areas to allow them to drive home from their nearest pub after having two or three drinks on little used roads driving at very low speeds – to be issued at the discretion of the local Garda.”

The vote was 5-3.  One must keep in mind that there were 12 absent and 7 abstaining.  Of course, I already see a problem in their passing anything with so few participating. And it is probably wrong to wonder if the absentees were in a pub drinking when the vote took place, but I digress.  The bill is backed up by an interesting argument.  Mr. Healy-Rae states that no one has ever been killed on a rural road while driving intoxicated and it would “prevent loneliness, and reduce the risk of suicide”.  I, of course, have NEVER seen a lonely person drinking in a bar… that’s just crazy talk.

I suppose I take umbrage to this bill because it would issue special permits to those living in rural areas to drive home after consuming 2 to 3 drinks.  Am I to believe that the person to trust with this authority is the person in the pub, throwing back a few? There are just too many variables. Suppose someone has 5 drinks and WALKS home in the lovely rural area, only to be hit by the permit holding driver?

The truth is Ireland is actually quite tough when it comes to drinking and driving laws, and overall deaths accredited to drunk driving has gone down 56% in the last 5 years.  With this change, however small this rural area is–we are talking slippery slope here, people.

To me, it seems complete hypocrisy to push and promote drinking responsibly with handing out permits to a few who we have to trust will follow the bill to the letter of law. People don’t always follow the letter of the law. Bending the law is not unheard of and laws can seem pretty flexible when your blood alcohol level is high enough to be measured.  One person’s short drive might wind up to be 20 minutes away.  Perhaps one lost count after that second drink, and three more third drinks were consumed.  One persons’ driving slowly is not another’s.  Personally, I know the speed limit is 55, but have I ever driven it?  (Rhetorical question.)

I have to say… REALLY? Do you really think this is a good idea?

REALLY?

DDJ

At the tone, please leave your stupid message

photo-6-hitting-head-with-phone

The device is not new. As long ago as 1898 a man named Valdemar Poulsen invented the Telegraphone. Skip ahead some time and in the 1970’s cassette tape answering devices—though pricey—arrived on the market in the US. By 1982 there were over 800,000 answering machines in the United States.

So I ask you, don’t you think by now people would have a clue as to how to leave a clear, concise, SHORT message with all the pertinent information on a voicemail message?

The answer is NO. Voicemail etiquette needs to be addressed. We are a country of people incapable of leaving a coherent message on voicemail! You know it’s true. In one day I can receive messages, without names, without a return number, with no information at all except heavy breathing, or with so much information they are cut off.

Let us start with the obvious—or less obvious than I thought—YOUR NAME. Handy piece of information if you would actually like a return call. Then, though you all think your number is miraculously left as some sort of hologram in front of me, you might want to leave your number. Going on from there, a brief description of why you are calling. And finally, if you so choose, a friendly send off of your choice. “Toodles”.

I receive calls from people who seem to think they are talking to me. It is the oddest thing. Remarks like, “hold on while I got get the prescription bottle”, was a favorite from work yesterday. Of course my voicemail cut her off when there was silence for too long. Or, the message that has “so, is that ok?” People… it’s a voicemail. I CAN NOT ANSWER YOU.

I suppose my biggest gripe is the unprepared caller. Too often people dial a phone and have NO idea what they are going to say, whether I am there or not. Do me a favor and KNOW before you dial. Because if I am not there you will get my voice mail and have to leave a short, concise, informative message. And if I am there, and you fall into that hesitation from hell, I WILL PUT YOU ON HOLD INDEFINITELY.

So to sum up my voicemail etiquette for today, please get your $h!t together before you DIAL a number. Thank you so much for your time, have a nice day.    🙂

Fool du Jour – Athletes Nazi Salute

Giorgos Katidis

He’s 20–from Athens.  He’s a soccer or football player, depending on your locale.  There are plenty of pictures of his Nazi salute-right arm extended, arm straightened-after he scored the go ahead goal. There are pictures of his teammates looking on in astonishment.  The 20-year-old claims “ignorance”, that he detests fascism.  And, the German coach claims he “doesn’t have any idea about politics.”  Listen up fool…. it’s not politics, it’s HISTORY, and 20 years old is NO excuse.  Sorry, Giorgos Katidis of Athens, but you are my fool du jour,