People are People so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully? Depeche Mode. Lyrics from a song I have loved by a band I’ve loved for quite some time. It is these past few weeks I have given considerable thought to the lyrics. I don’t understand what makes a man hate another man. I do! The fine men of Depeche Mode do not answer the question. I have been giving this a long and very personal look. We all come into contact with people we just DO NOT seem to get along with. It’s me, it’s them. Maybe the truth of why some people “get along so awfully” is a very simple fact. There are good people and there are not so good people. There are people who live a moral and just life, abiding by laws and trying to do the best they can in an ethical and responsible way and in the words of the Hippocratic Oath—D0 NO HARM—And THEN, there are people who don’t. Their lives may be filled with lying, cheating, thievery, manipulation and a selfishness unfathomable to me.
If you are getting the feeling this is personal, then you are spot on. Details are irrelevant since this is just my personal study of people and why there are some that I have no use for in my life. That I have beaten myself up for thinking I should be the bigger person TOO often, has finally tuckered me out.
An example of a “bad” person—in my opinion—would go a little something like this… Lazy and disrespectful at work. Cheating the government for funds so that they can try to NOT work AT ALL. Lying on daily basis with such tenacity and fervor that this person may deserve and Academy Award. Perhaps they have a disingenuous demeanor that most people take for sincere. They might even, from the outside looking in, appear to be doing something of a charitable nature. But look closer, trust your gut.
I will make this simple. I know that I do NOT get along with people that I find to be selfish, manipulative and devious. So people really AREN’T just people after all. I wanted to believe that. That amongst us all was an innate nature to do the right thing, live a life of some small amount of benevolence and kindness. But I just don’t see it. I see, every day, the opposite, and it is disconcerting at best, and exhausting and deflating at worst.
I say all the time that it is our four-legged friends that I am truly close to. There is a trust, with unwavering and unconditional love that comes from the innocence of our furry friends. And with few exceptions they are my preferred choice in pals.
When it comes to people, I create this delusion that we are all—somewhere within our soul—connected and full of something, however tiny, resembles goodness. But that just isn’t true. Whether the “bad” is a conscious and thought out life of a morally and ethically deplorable existence or someone is just batshit crazy doesn’t change the facts. The reason I don’t get along with certain people is because of a basic affect of their personality that is in direct opposition to mine. I can’t change that, and chances are the people I find reprehensible can’t change theirs either. So, the best I can do is remove myself from situations where people like this come into my life. I imagine, if I could do this, and I am trying quite hard, that MY life would be greatly improved. Sadly, it means that the blight will just move on to become a leech on some other poor idealistic soul and make someone else question the same things I did. Why is this so complicated? Why can’t I just let it go? Why should their behavior have such a negative effect on me, if it doesn’t always affect me? Why? Because I can’t change who I am. And if people are people as it has been sung, then I am precisely who I am supposed to be, and I don’t suppose I can expect the “bad” people to change any time soon.
It has been bandied about—mostly by me—that IH8 PPL. And to an extent that is true more than it is not, but let me be perfectly clear… If you are a good person… I will know instantly and if you are not…. Well then, I think you know how I feel about you. So, please DO go gentle into that good night.
DDJ
Dealing With Fools 