Technology purging in modern times… good luck
We live in an amazing time. The ever evolving advancement of technology has made dating, and even marrying, something that can begin with a click of a mouse or a tap on a smartphone. People have multiple emails, as well as a plethora of social media that only begins with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Linkedin. We have cell phones, work phones, and some of us still have land line home phones. All of these make building relationships a snap. They also make contact, nearly instantaneous. We have the ability to tell our stories via 140 characters or less, to lengthy blogs while telling our deepest, darkest secrets to the world—or your 1000 or so closest friends. Heck, I have “words with friends” friends! We have pictures of our blissful relationships we cultivated online, as well as pictures of friends, family, pets, vacations, and my personal favorite… drinks and snacks. Everything neatly tagged so that the world can follow your every move. Awesome.
But what happens when there is someone attached to you by all of the aforementioned and you want to well… let’s just say… excommunicate them from your life? It used to be—depending on how far back we go—you could change a single number. At worst, not answer, hang up and hope they don’t call back, rip up the hand written letter before opening it, throw an answering machine tape in the garbage, or simply MOVE. 😉
Things have changed. There is a domino effect of—let’s just say—breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and it has a domino missing. Now you are stuck. And boy oh boy, you have a lot of work to do in order to rid yourself of this unwanted appendage. As seemingly simple as it is to bring people into your life, it is astronomically more difficult to rid yourself of them.
The daunting and exhaustive process involved was brought up to me recently by a friend, and I have to say, I am not envious. Happy I don’t have too many social media ACTUAL friends, and pretty sure if I vanished from someone’s “timeline”, I would not necessarily be missed. We seem to be ‘shackled’ to people we know, barely know and wish we didn’t know in ways that Houdini would have trouble getting out of. I am curious how people handle this new era breakup. I am pretty much a lone wolf. There is something to be said for that in these ‘technology on steroid’ times.
Just a little something to think about as you share your fabulous life with the world… 🙂
This prescription may cause…
I am going to go out on a limb here and say that a great many of you have a doctor whom you like, but your doctor has a staff you would like to strangle. I know a little bit about this subject. I’ve managed a cardiology practice for well over 20 years. Speaking only from personal experience, I am going to give a few tips to ingratiate yourself to the staff, make you their “favorite” patient, and in turn have the doctor put you to the top of his or her triage list of phone calls he or she doesn’t want to make.
Upon visiting a doctor for the first time, or ANY time, have with you something we in the business like to call an “insurance card”. It would be equally helpful if you actually KNEW who your carrier is and—I don’t want to get crazy here—but what your copay is. Also, don’t put your hand out with 3 cards because you get a new one each year and never get rid of the old one… and then expect the already miffed staff to “figure it out”. Some form of Identification would be welcome as well. I am sure this sounds insurmountable, but trust me, it isn’t.
Questions NO one who works with doctors wants to hear:
“Is the doctor here yet?”
“Is he running on time?”
“How long will I be?
“I know I don’t have an appointment, but I was in the neighborhood. Think I can be seen?”
In a crowded doctor’s office, I find it best to befriend the front desk people. An example of a reasonable question would be, “how many patients are ahead of me?” And NEVER even try that last one–EVER. Though my office has a plethora of amazing magazines, none greater than 3 months old, presume yours does not. Bring something to occupy your time that is SILENT. There is the possibility, however incredibly LIKELY, that you will be there for a while. 😉
If possible, so as to not be a block away when you think of another question, write them down and bring them with you. NOT a hundred of them on index cards, but the pertinent and important ones. I dare say a little common sense will be required here. Also, it is probably best to NOT start a sentence with “I read on line….” Even if you did, the doctors I know aren’t very fond of the self treating patient who knows better.
When calling your now befriended office staff, keep up the good work. Leave a clear and concise message, a phone number where you can actually be reached, and… this is key… if you do not hear back from your beloved physician in a reasonable amount of time, it is perfectly fine to call back. (Do NOT wait 3 weeks and call back angry and ready to rip heads off. I am afraid that tactic is counterproductive.) There is hardly the need to be nasty about it to the staff. A simple, I have not heard back yet, preferably with an upbeat tone and minus the demonizing of the staff. It’s not as if the doctor tried to call and had his hands lopped off by their underpaid staff. (That is just a guess.)
Notice the signs. Not the signs from the heavens above, but the actual, physical signs that say things like, no cell phones, no eating, if you have any demographic changes, please tell the receptionist, copay expected at time of visit, please have identification. Crazy, insane things like that. Trust me, there ARE signs. And much like those from heaven above, they are mostly ignored.
When dealing with the front office staff, remember that they are the first line of defense. They whisper their opinions to the physician that you are about to see. It would be in your best interest to befriend them from the get-go. As things stand now, even as computerized as we have become, you will encounter humans. The human element in any situation is going to make some determining factors. Again, since I speak only from PERSONAL experience, I can say with very little doubt that all will go much more smoothly when there is a calm and friendly relationship with the STAFF. It trickles UP to the physician and then across to the patient.
Office protocols differ from office to office, and that lag time in a cold lonely room can be exasperating. I personally have wandered out in my gown to see if the lights were on or had everyone just left me there. Still there is a more or LESS obnoxious way to handle that scenario. Mostly, I realize that I have not been forgotten, I have been waylaid while the doctor is off seeing someone else or on a call with a physician… or something completely irrelevant to your care completely. (Not an excuse, but an explanation—also not how I run my office.) If need be, peek out and NICELY make sure they haven’t forgotten you as they chatter amongst themselves doing absolutely nothing. Barking like a rabid dog will again, not make a good impression. Remember, you aren’t wearing clothes.
In any case, my philosophy is go there expecting the worst and hoping for the best in both your time spent, and even your prognosis. I suppose my point is, you are likely to get the grand and royal treatment if you start off on the right foot and not bite the hand that can leave you in a freezing room, naked for a really long time, and drop you to the bottom of the call back list somewhere after your doctor’s malpractice insurance agent. 🙂
DDJ
Come out, Come out, wherever you are… oh wait don’t, the wicked witch is still here.
To come out or not to come out, that is the question. NBA star, Jason Collins came out. I was, in my own office, where a secretary has gay relatives, incensed at her response. She felt it’s “no ones business, children shouldn’t ‘see’ it, and why do they have to tell people”. Wow. I was actually shocked. Not that she said or felt these things, but that it actually bothered me. I explained as best as I could, since I am straight that being in the public eye or not, having to keep that secret is an immeasurable and exhausting hardship that no one should endure.
Here I am about to anger a great deal of people. Their narrow minded beliefs are not my problem. I consider to myself to be a conservative. I believe in a smaller government, less entitlements, stronger family values, extremism on curbing our illegal immigration problem, and for whatever it’s worth, my continuing right—2nd amendment or not—to go to the range and shoot targets with a Smith and Wesson. On the political social note, I do not fit the bill. I know this for a couple of reasons—irrelevant to his story. Therefore, it is a conundrum when trying to pigeon hole me into a political classification. That being said, here lies today’s MASSIVE and hypocritical foolishness.
Former NFL star LeRoy Butler was to speak to a Church children’s congregation that, as a decent person, he would not name. This because of a TWEET–“Congrats to Jason Collins”. THAT was it. He was told he could redeem himself by removing the tweet, ask for God’s forgiveness, and apologize and they would allow him—yes, allow him—to address the children on BULLYING—of all things. Major props to LeRoy Butler for respectfully refusing this ultimatum. “I told the Pastor, blame it on my mom because my mom brought me up to love everybody,” he said.
I realize, as do most, that we depend upon words written either hundreds or thousands of years ago. I, for one, am a big fan our U.S. Constitution. However, this is the world we live in. I stand by the THESE words, that we are all entitled to “ Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. And the church, of all entities, should not shun a man who came to discuss one of the most important problems of our children today—bullying—because of his open heart for another human being. He added later, on his twitter account—“Also my mom says the message is bigger anyway, by the way I was raised in the church, and attend 3 to 4 times a month”.
I will not say who my fool is here, I think you know.
Tails of Hope
Today I streamed the anxious, terror filled news from my desk at work—my mind wandering. My heart is aching for Boston, for Massachusetts and for America as a whole. At the end of the day, terror doesn’t just affect a city or a region. It affects us all, and changes us, irrevocably.
I hear I grew up while the Vietnam War was still going on. I say it like that because I was young, sheltered, and even if I knew; I was too busy being a kid to notice or care. And besides, the bad guys were FAR, FAR AWAY—not here. I would ride my bicycle for hours, for miles… no cell phone to track, or call me. Nothing… Just be home by dinner or dark. My biggest fear was crossing a major road to get to Barricini’s candy store.
Those days have been gone a long time… but the reality is it changed in a generation. It feels as if today’s world is truly a bad science fiction movie. There is judgment, fear, NO trust, just danger lurking almost anywhere. I know this because I feel it.
I walked out of my office today with the Boston Manhunt still going on. I walked through midtown past an inordinate amount of police presence, (to make me feel safe, while making me sad at the same time).
Then it happened. Two strangers walking their dogs stopped on the street as their respective pooches did the “sniff, circle, and wag” routine that I love. All of a sudden, these 2 people with no ties, perhaps nothing in common but having a dog, were chatting and laughing. I couldn’t help but feel a smile widen across my face. I couldn’t help but wonder in my idealistic and insanely improbable world, what it would be like if everyone had a dog. If every dog did the “sniff-circle-wag”, and every one of their respective persons got along, even if that was their ONLY commonality.
What I witnessed should get me through today. I will wake up tomorrow back in reality. But a girl can dream, and sometimes it helps to have those small moments that warm your heart to get you through the toughest days.
Everyone with a soul is thinking about and praying for anyone affected by terror—anywhere.
Xoxo- DDJ
Kids learn the darndest things
Crossword puzzles are hard–Harder still when the answers are false. Harder even MORE when the questions are asked of 8th graders and the “right” answers are treated and TAUGHT as facts.
Case in point: Union Grove, Wisconsin Public School where students were assigned to fill out a “Liberalism vs. Conservatism” crossword puzzle. On the surface, to me, there is nothing terrible about learning about politics at a young age, presuming one is making up their own mind and not parroting media, their parents, friends, etc. But can an 8th grader even do that?
That is not my gripe or the gripe of a mother in Wisconsin, Tamra Varebrook, who was shocked to read part of her daughter’s homework assignment that incorrectly described conservatives as wanting to restrict all personal freedoms. First of all, I am impressed she had what it takes to stand up and say something. In a time when our country is fighting over curriculums, and standardized testing, she made sure the school and superintendent knew they had made a pretty grave error.
I will not put a spin on this in any way and will just use my go to reference of the Oxford Dictionary—sort of my defining bible. Whereas finding the word “conservatism” in any reputable reference entity is difficult, I will leave you with Oxford’s definition of the adjective “conservative”: holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in relation to politics or religion.
Now, back to the crossword puzzles answer. “the political belief of preserving traditional moral values by restricting personal freedoms and encouraging prosperity through economic freedom.”
I see a bit of a different take on the word. Lest us not forget the other half of this lesson—“Liberalism”. The nice people who created this fabulous puzzle go on to describe liberalism as “the political belief of equality and personal freedom for everyone, often changing the current system to increase government protection of civil liberties.” Hmmm. Fascinating.
So, not only do we ask 8th graders to make such a personal statement about their beliefs in politics in a school assignment, we are asking them to make it based on false information. Let us please be realistic about this. I know I was MUCH older before I started forming my own opinions on such subjects, and was at that age (till much older) forming opinions based on my homelife and family and THOSE values alone.
Not only are they being taught misinformation–which is just like getting ALL your news from ONE source–they are being asked to say where they stand on a subject that they should ONLY be learning the tenets of…. Not having to choose where they stand. This is my opinion, of course, but teach the facts, teach them correctly, and hope and pray, your children will grow up to have the knowledge to form their own opinions and the tolerance to accept others.
The back of this fabulous assignment I have below for you to draw your own conclusions. Naturally, once publicized, the superintendent was quick to offer an apology and said it will continue evaluating classroom materials. And the writers of this so-called “civics” curriculum have since been dropped.
The child of the mother who brought this to everyone’s attention admitted that her daughter has little time or patience for politics or political philosophy and “was just happy to get it filled out.” I am going out on a limb here and going to surmise that this is the general feeling of your typical 8th grader. But, what do I know… maybe I will go ask a few.
When it comes to teaching CIVICS, of all things, don’t you think it should be accurate? Since, according to Oxford, civics is defined as “the study of the rights and duties of citizenship.” I think our citizens, 8th graders and all, deserve better than skewing their evolving minds in ANY direction at all.
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